Though Lady Drama moonlights as a musical act, its members are principally concerned with their professional wrestling careers. The boys are presently on tour with the Extreme Wrestling Federation’s
junior circuit and will be appearing at the Burleigh County Convention Center in Bismark, North Dakota next Tuesday. If you’re there, keep an eye out for the following wrestlers:
Mike Hamm (“Hammcock”) is notorious for his gaudy attire, which includes animal print tights, flourescent fur coats, and female sunglasses. His finishing move (dubbed “The Rough Rider”) has left
many opponents in a state of psychological disrepair.
Lincoln Ritter (“Laser Lincoln”) has been hitting the pharmacologist hard in recent months, and now sports biceps that measure twenty seven inches in circumference. He has also developed a bit of a rage
problem and is forgetting, with alarming prevalence, that he’s supposed to pretend when inflicting life threatening pain on an adversary.
Johnny Gunn (“The Gunnsickutioner”) opens his bouts by riding a red, white and blue Warlock chopper up to the ring and belting out his catch phrase: “KILL ‘EM ALL; LET GOD SORT THEM OUT!” Johnny’s
haircut–a long ponytail of beaded braids with the sides of his head shaved–is becoming quite popular amongst the youths in his hometown of Omaha.
Mark Kornblum (“Al-Marq Kornbluhammad”) covers himself with a brownish makeup, dons an oversized keffiyeh and rankles fans with his virulently anti-American comments. Because of his frequent betrayals and double-crossings, Al-Marq is one of the most hated members of Lady Drama–often prompting chants of “U-S-A! U-S-A!” from the crowd.
Submitted by: Brendan Curran